Twenty Years Post East Lansing

Twenty years ago today - May 6, 2005 - was supposed to be the most important day of my life.

My graduation from Michigan State University with my B.A. in journalism marked the culmination of an educational journey that I hoped would catapult me into something bigger and better.

For the last 20 years, I’ve been trying like hell to make that a reality while also proving to myself and to some others that both my college choice and degree choice was the right one.

I always knew trying to break into and find sufficient footing within sports and/or journalism would be very tough.

That came with the territory for two precise reasons: the uber-competitive nature that defines the industry and how others would view my cerebral palsy.

A pair of ADA violations - the first in 2007 and the second coming in 2010 - have left permanent mental scars on my job-searching psyche.

How could it not?

And I’m glad most people don’t have to deal with that burden.

My Twitter bio says it all: “Equal Opportunity Employer enthusiast fighting the good fight. Molded by cerebral palsy, motivated by the same.”

I’ve been fighting the good fight for the last 20 years, with more failure than success.

Much of my time since leaving East Lansing has been spent freelancing prep sports - football, boys’ basketball and baseball - in my hometown of Naperville, Ill.

A two-year stint (March 2022-March 2024) as a part-time writer within ESPN’s college football digital group sits atop my resume.

The path forward post-ESPN has been quite challenging, scary and one I’m still struggling with trying to navigate because I don’t where I fit in.

And that’s a very helpless feeling, at times.

Things are different for me and the perception of others that I am capable of more than what my CP says I am is a constant battle I confront.

Sports are a core part of my identity and they represent a huge part of who I am.

Sports provided an avenue for me to be accepted by my peers while growing up - standing out for a good reason as opposed to be the kid walking down the hall with a awkward gait and an indented left hand.

It’s what brings out the best in me, in my writing and it’s why I’m good at what I do because it’s how my passion comes shining through.

And I’ve had people suggest I look outside of sports for opportunities.

When they say that, that indicates to me that they don’t understand me, what motivates me and why this is so personal.

That opportunity at ESPN came because I’m relentless when it comes to networking.

I network because I have no choice and perusing job boards provide a challenge from an experience standpoint and an uncertainty of where I best fit in.

I’m good at what I do.

I’m proud of what I’ve done.

I’ve had enough people - ESPN and otherwise - relay that message enough over the last 20 years for that message to sink in.

I’ve done the best I can do with the opportunities I’ve been given.

I’ve been unafraid to admit that I need help and can’t do this alone.

For much of the 7,305 days after crossing the Breslin Center stage with my degree from Michigan State’s School of Journalism, I’ve felt alone in this fight.

There has to be more to my story because so much still seems unwritten to this point.

Just hope I can find the right person who can help me continue to try to write more to my story.